Well, my granddaughter thinks I’m older than dirt, but while I have to grow old, I sure don't have to grow up.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a pity party for one - just grumblings about how when life throws you lemons and I happen to make really yummy marguerites!
Three years ago I was diagnosed with degenerative discs, that is to say - no discs at all at the bottom of my spine. I was active and fit right up until then. The only thing I didn't do was tennis, golf and running. now its yummy cortizone shots directly into the spine, my cane affectionately called 'Cinderelli' and my walker, called 'Sean' (as in Connery - I needed something strong and handsome to hold me - so indulge me a little).
My life has been totally turned around. I can't play with the grandkids the way I used to, which is really the worst possible thing for me. I can't walk any great distance without the help of 'Sean', so I do the best with what I have. I try really hard not to get depressed, my hubby passed away in 1989, I used to sail, show dogs, among other things, which I obviously don't do now. So I use the grandkids as my 'higher power' - if I feel myself getting down I just look at those cheruby faces and my face lights up.
sometimes its hard going places with the walker - like people who continually honk their horns as you try to cross a 6 lane road with the 'walk' light - I end up slowing down and giving them 'the glare', ticks the drivers off, but I walk away with the biggest grin. If a car pulls into the middle of the walk path as I cross said road - now I make sure my cane actually hits the front of their vehicle. Hey it’s not my fault I’m old and my cane sometimes slips and misses the road.....you can see where I’m going with this.
While I don't 'aim' for noisy rugrats in the mall, I sure do think about it - but their obnoxious parents are fair game - life is actually quite good.
A little incident a while ago involving the police - so I blogged it for my friends. It goes something like this: decided to go up to what I call 'the big mall' to finish off some shopping for my vacation to joisey. I have to cross two 6 lane main roads to get there - it’s only about 15 minutes for me if I didn't have to wait for freaking stoplights.
So - I left at 9:30 with my walker and get to my first stoplight pressed the 'walk' button so when the light turned green the walk signal comes on. With me so far? ok - light turns green and I proceed across the road and I’m almost at the 3rd lane at the centre of the intersection when this woman who was also waiting for a green to turn the corner put her foot on the gas and practically hits me as she makes her turn - I screamed at her and called her an 'ungranny-like' name and went across the last 3 lanes. Its not like I’m a teeny tiny human being - I’m a big woman pushing a walker!!
Ok so I say to myself - calm down - it’s not worth it and off I go towards the 2nd major intersection. I have the 'walk' light in my favour and off I go. Once I’m across the main road I then have to go over an 'island' and then across a turning lane where traffic must yield to pedestrians. yeah you guessed it - I’m just setting off and this stupid guy zooms past me and has the nerve to wave 'thank you' -I let out another zinger.....and I just said to myself - that's two!!!
Now I walked and walked in the mall and noticed I’d been walking 2 full hours without even sitting to go to the toidey and am quite proud of myself. I decided to come back another way and so I did - when I turned the corner towards another small intersection - there's a silver car parked directly in front of the ramp off the sidewalk - and I’m ready for it - I said to myself - I hope he doesn't move before I get there ....and it didn't.
You have to understand I’m now in a mood to run over anything in my way so this was my next victim. I got within 10 feet and yelled - your blocking the ramp. the door opened and the female cop says I’m sorry I shouldn't be in your way - she's in an unmarked cruiser....then she backs away and goes into a proper parking spot - I found myself walking with an exaggerated limp so she wouldn't think about arresting me for yelling and scampered away as quick as a disabled person can scamper.
I’m going for a granny nap now but just wanted to share my day - except for the police woman - sadly this is almost a normal type of occurrence for pedestrians! I have the notches on my cane and walker to prove it too!!
Well I just thought I’d give you an insight into the life of a partially disabled person - it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. And the good news is I have room for lots of notches yet on 'Cinderelli' and 'Sean'.
By Rusty
Monday, August 13, 2007
Back In The Day By Tony
Back in the day, toys were for rich kids we made our own games on cobbled streets that at night were lit by gas lamps. In fact our house was a two up to down with gas mantles for light, you had to be real careful when lighting them they were not cheap two for a penny at Mrs Clarks shop on the corner.
She would put Arkwright to shame, but the shop had everything he had and more. Once my granddad had a heavy cold, the cure a Penarth of whisky from Mrs M. Coming home from school on a Monday evening my grans bread made the mouth water, baked from the cellar kitchen range, you could smell the bread from the top of the street. Years later the Hovis commercials reminded me of my gran and granddad they raised me.
In summer we were aloud to play out till nine, we played hiddy{hide and seek}kick out can, tors{marbles}what seemed like 50 a side football matches played on the wreck at the top of our street.
I'm 60 now and can not remember in my adult life having friends like I had back in the day, I often wonder what became of them all, some died as kids George S, fell of a roof, Michael W killed in a hit and run, never did catch who did it. Mary C, TB. One gassed him self at 14. Some moved away as parents did better for themselves. I know times change; we used to leave doors open at night, we had a lady who knocked us up with a log stick.
I hated that sound on cold winter mornings from under the sheet with my granddads long army coat on top for added warmth, the sound meant two hours to getting up for me, but more importantly the coat would be on my granddad and not me. Summer mornings my gran would wash the flags and scour the steps, Friday was pay day, clean piny and head scarf on my gran, granddads wages, off to uncle Benny to retrieve the crystal fruit bowl we had to pawn if my granddad had lost a days pay for what ever reason.
The streets are all gone now torn down in the sixties for multi-storey cells in the sky, I wish the spirit of those days were still with us, but that’s not to be, those days are long gone, but the memories off back in the day will remain with me for the rest of my life.
By Tony
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
A Day In The Life Of Harry
I went to Manchester city centre using my free bus pass yesterday, I also went for the very first time on a Metrolink tram. although I’ve lived in the Manchester area all my life but it must be many years since I’d visited the city centre because I didn't recognise it and I was like a tourist taking photos.
With the help of some very nice ladies - one about 18 at the local bus stop, one really lovely, heavily-pregnant young woman, her child is due in early august. But she wore a very pretty smock-type top instead of these stupid crop tops that teenage mothers-to-be wear, and we had a lovely chat at the tram stop.
Then a very smart, more mature lady at the tram terminus who told me she grew up near where I lived as a youngster and we exchanged reminiscences of days gone by and where we used to play.
She, apparently, worked (before she retired) at the stock exchange in Manchester but wasn't allowed on the floor because she was female. What a great day of talking to people it was!
By Harry
With the help of some very nice ladies - one about 18 at the local bus stop, one really lovely, heavily-pregnant young woman, her child is due in early august. But she wore a very pretty smock-type top instead of these stupid crop tops that teenage mothers-to-be wear, and we had a lovely chat at the tram stop.
Then a very smart, more mature lady at the tram terminus who told me she grew up near where I lived as a youngster and we exchanged reminiscences of days gone by and where we used to play.
She, apparently, worked (before she retired) at the stock exchange in Manchester but wasn't allowed on the floor because she was female. What a great day of talking to people it was!
By Harry
Looking Back By Doug Thwaites
Having lived 90 years and still with an active mind, I can recall vividly, events of years ago. If I go back 70 years to when I was a young man of 20, living in a world entirely different to that of today, I remember that I was having just as much enjoyment as now, with much less worries.
Having plenty of time to think back over my long life I begin to wonder if we are better off today. If all the things we take for granted today are really necessary. Of course what you never had you never miss. At that prewar period, life was wonderful and full. No worry about locking up your house, or going on a diet. Petrol was just over a shilling (10 cents) a gallon.
Living wage was about three pounds a week. I was driving a Singer Le Mans car with twin carburetors, bonnet tied down with a leather strap. I used to wear a Teddy Bear overcoat as they were called, synthetic fur, tied with a belt. There were no fears in those days, we partied and partied. I worked long hours and earned about five pounds a week so I was well off.
Radio was still in its early days. Mainly used for the news at night. No Television thank goodness. So we entertained ourselves. We had the cinema with black & white movies. Silent of course, but there was always music. The big cinemas had an Organ, which played in the interval while we drank our tea. We ate what we wanted, fat and all. The main cause of death in those days, according to the records was by an infection.
When I was at high school, once I got home and had a quick snack, it was off to the woods to play, cops and robbers or some similar strenuous game. No sitting in front of the Box, nibbling and becoming obese.
Shopping was very different in those days. No supermarkets, just the local grocer. In between getting the local gossip, we would wait while our sugar, or rice etc., would be weighed up and packed in a paper bag. Cheeses were there, in halves or smaller pieces of the whole cheese, still with the cloth on the outside. We would taste a piece before buying.
We took our container to get milk, which was kept in a large china bowl inside a glass cabinet. It had to be stirred before being ladled out, as it was raw milk with all the cream on top. Now most produce is wrapped in plastic and of course we pay more, because we have to cover the cost of packing, and the package. The two giants, Coles and Woolworths, sell most of the groceries that we need. The supply of food is becoming almost a monopoly.
It is considered that today the house must contain at least two televisions, VCR, DVD player, fridge, freezer, microwave, vacuum cleaner, and of course that stereo sound system. There are many more things available, coffee maker, coffee bean grinder, sandwich maker, toaster, Mixmaster, bread maker, electric jug. I could find a few more too. With all these labour saving devices surely we have more spare time, but no, the wife has to go to work too, to help pay for all these things. So she will need a car, more to pay for! Cars in those far off days were simple, just a means of getting from one place to another. No air-conditioning, no heater, and definitely no CD player, to distract the driver.
On Sundays I would take my mother for a drive. We would drive slowly along the roads, looking at the places we were passing. Now and then my mother would want us to stop so she could get out and look at someone’s garden, she was keen on flower gardening. Now you cannot drive slowly along a road, someone would either run into you or the sounds of horns would deafen you. It is not a pleasure driving now; more like a case of ‘Dodgems’
Now the roads are crammed with cars, and there is constantly a need to upgrade them to cope, with the thousands more cars that are to come. The world’s population keeps expanding. In Australia, we import people, so that they will need cars and homes, and thus provide employment for thousands. We manufactured about 485,314 cars last year, plus the imports, and imported about 146,000 people.
As the population increases, more land is needed to build homes on, which means less to grow food on. A disaster looms as more people means more food needed, yet less land will be available. All these extra cars on the roads have made traveling by car a risky business as the road toll increases. All those extra exhausts mean more pollution of the air that we breathe. The day when petrol runs out, will get closer as all the extra fuel is used.
When that happens, our cars will run on fuel cells, using water, which is split into Hydrogen and Oxygen. The fuel cell makes electricity while converting the Hydrogen. The waste product is water. Why are they not being mass-produced now? Well we have to use up the petrol first. The world runs on profit not environment care. Now let us look at Television. When it first came here, it was meant to entertain and educate. It has certainly educated people about crime, murder and the use of drugs and firearms.
No longer do parents have to have a talk to their children about the birds and the bees; they see it all on the screen. I consider it is a drug. People have lost the art of communicating and entertaining themselves. I moved to South Australia in 1960, as Television was about to start there. I found people got together at the weekend, and even sang songs and played the piano.
A few months later those pianos were being traded in on televisions. In SE Queensland we have five TV stations broadcasting 24 hours of the day. To find material for all these hours, masses of rubbish is shown, most unfortunately from America. The ABC and SBS for those lucky enough to receive it, show wonderful material. Many of the documentaries do educate and inform.
Another new wonder is the computer; simply it is a brain, which is much larger and faster than ours. But we have to give it the information first. It cannot think for itself. It can then be shared with the rest of the world through another wonder, the Internet. Now sending messages by Email have taken over from the post office, now referred to as snail mail.
I have a nephew in Calgary, Alberta; letters to him took five days to get there and five days to get back. Because of the time difference he is asleep when I am awake. I can send him an Email and get a reply back the next morning. But I still enjoy writing long letters to people. Luckily for the post office we can now pay most of our bills through them. Now digital cameras have arrived. I have one and like every thing else in life it has its good points and bad ones.
Now instead of taking pictures and having to wait for the roll to fill up, and then wait while it was processed, I can take a picture and have a print in five minutes. So film is not being used, thousand will lose their jobs in Kodak, although they make the camera?
So that is the whole point now, considering the good points and the bad and weighing up is it worth doing or using.
I had an infection during the last war and was given a piece of jelly to eat. That was the first use of Penicillin. The over use of anti-biotics have produced germs that are resistant to some, so there is a constant hunt for different ones. Although they have good points they also have bad ones, side effects they are called. So do all medical drugs. I must admit here that I am only alive now because of drugs. Anti-biotics kill the bad bugs, but also the good ones, which mean that our digestive systems are put out of order, and doses of Lactobacillus acidophilus and Bifidobacterium must be taken to restore it.
There is a good side to living this long, I have had some enjoyable extra years, but there is a downside. Although my brain is as good as ever, my body is beginning to deteriorate, and unlike a man made object I cannot buy spares, and am too old for transplants. I know like everyone does that I must die sometime. I have had two scares and beaten them. I can no longer do the physical things I want to do, I can no longer wander around Australia, so I am confined, and awaiting what next will come along and try and knock me off my perch.
I have been accused of being pessimistic; no I am just looking at the truth.
The question of whether we are better off, well that doesn’t matter, as we cannot go back.
By Doug Thwaites
Having plenty of time to think back over my long life I begin to wonder if we are better off today. If all the things we take for granted today are really necessary. Of course what you never had you never miss. At that prewar period, life was wonderful and full. No worry about locking up your house, or going on a diet. Petrol was just over a shilling (10 cents) a gallon.
Living wage was about three pounds a week. I was driving a Singer Le Mans car with twin carburetors, bonnet tied down with a leather strap. I used to wear a Teddy Bear overcoat as they were called, synthetic fur, tied with a belt. There were no fears in those days, we partied and partied. I worked long hours and earned about five pounds a week so I was well off.
Radio was still in its early days. Mainly used for the news at night. No Television thank goodness. So we entertained ourselves. We had the cinema with black & white movies. Silent of course, but there was always music. The big cinemas had an Organ, which played in the interval while we drank our tea. We ate what we wanted, fat and all. The main cause of death in those days, according to the records was by an infection.
When I was at high school, once I got home and had a quick snack, it was off to the woods to play, cops and robbers or some similar strenuous game. No sitting in front of the Box, nibbling and becoming obese.
Shopping was very different in those days. No supermarkets, just the local grocer. In between getting the local gossip, we would wait while our sugar, or rice etc., would be weighed up and packed in a paper bag. Cheeses were there, in halves or smaller pieces of the whole cheese, still with the cloth on the outside. We would taste a piece before buying.
We took our container to get milk, which was kept in a large china bowl inside a glass cabinet. It had to be stirred before being ladled out, as it was raw milk with all the cream on top. Now most produce is wrapped in plastic and of course we pay more, because we have to cover the cost of packing, and the package. The two giants, Coles and Woolworths, sell most of the groceries that we need. The supply of food is becoming almost a monopoly.
It is considered that today the house must contain at least two televisions, VCR, DVD player, fridge, freezer, microwave, vacuum cleaner, and of course that stereo sound system. There are many more things available, coffee maker, coffee bean grinder, sandwich maker, toaster, Mixmaster, bread maker, electric jug. I could find a few more too. With all these labour saving devices surely we have more spare time, but no, the wife has to go to work too, to help pay for all these things. So she will need a car, more to pay for! Cars in those far off days were simple, just a means of getting from one place to another. No air-conditioning, no heater, and definitely no CD player, to distract the driver.
On Sundays I would take my mother for a drive. We would drive slowly along the roads, looking at the places we were passing. Now and then my mother would want us to stop so she could get out and look at someone’s garden, she was keen on flower gardening. Now you cannot drive slowly along a road, someone would either run into you or the sounds of horns would deafen you. It is not a pleasure driving now; more like a case of ‘Dodgems’
Now the roads are crammed with cars, and there is constantly a need to upgrade them to cope, with the thousands more cars that are to come. The world’s population keeps expanding. In Australia, we import people, so that they will need cars and homes, and thus provide employment for thousands. We manufactured about 485,314 cars last year, plus the imports, and imported about 146,000 people.
As the population increases, more land is needed to build homes on, which means less to grow food on. A disaster looms as more people means more food needed, yet less land will be available. All these extra cars on the roads have made traveling by car a risky business as the road toll increases. All those extra exhausts mean more pollution of the air that we breathe. The day when petrol runs out, will get closer as all the extra fuel is used.
When that happens, our cars will run on fuel cells, using water, which is split into Hydrogen and Oxygen. The fuel cell makes electricity while converting the Hydrogen. The waste product is water. Why are they not being mass-produced now? Well we have to use up the petrol first. The world runs on profit not environment care. Now let us look at Television. When it first came here, it was meant to entertain and educate. It has certainly educated people about crime, murder and the use of drugs and firearms.
No longer do parents have to have a talk to their children about the birds and the bees; they see it all on the screen. I consider it is a drug. People have lost the art of communicating and entertaining themselves. I moved to South Australia in 1960, as Television was about to start there. I found people got together at the weekend, and even sang songs and played the piano.
A few months later those pianos were being traded in on televisions. In SE Queensland we have five TV stations broadcasting 24 hours of the day. To find material for all these hours, masses of rubbish is shown, most unfortunately from America. The ABC and SBS for those lucky enough to receive it, show wonderful material. Many of the documentaries do educate and inform.
Another new wonder is the computer; simply it is a brain, which is much larger and faster than ours. But we have to give it the information first. It cannot think for itself. It can then be shared with the rest of the world through another wonder, the Internet. Now sending messages by Email have taken over from the post office, now referred to as snail mail.
I have a nephew in Calgary, Alberta; letters to him took five days to get there and five days to get back. Because of the time difference he is asleep when I am awake. I can send him an Email and get a reply back the next morning. But I still enjoy writing long letters to people. Luckily for the post office we can now pay most of our bills through them. Now digital cameras have arrived. I have one and like every thing else in life it has its good points and bad ones.
Now instead of taking pictures and having to wait for the roll to fill up, and then wait while it was processed, I can take a picture and have a print in five minutes. So film is not being used, thousand will lose their jobs in Kodak, although they make the camera?
So that is the whole point now, considering the good points and the bad and weighing up is it worth doing or using.
I had an infection during the last war and was given a piece of jelly to eat. That was the first use of Penicillin. The over use of anti-biotics have produced germs that are resistant to some, so there is a constant hunt for different ones. Although they have good points they also have bad ones, side effects they are called. So do all medical drugs. I must admit here that I am only alive now because of drugs. Anti-biotics kill the bad bugs, but also the good ones, which mean that our digestive systems are put out of order, and doses of Lactobacillus acidophilus and Bifidobacterium must be taken to restore it.
There is a good side to living this long, I have had some enjoyable extra years, but there is a downside. Although my brain is as good as ever, my body is beginning to deteriorate, and unlike a man made object I cannot buy spares, and am too old for transplants. I know like everyone does that I must die sometime. I have had two scares and beaten them. I can no longer do the physical things I want to do, I can no longer wander around Australia, so I am confined, and awaiting what next will come along and try and knock me off my perch.
I have been accused of being pessimistic; no I am just looking at the truth.
The question of whether we are better off, well that doesn’t matter, as we cannot go back.
By Doug Thwaites
Footprints In The Snow By Joan Brownlow
As someone new to the concept of "chat rooms" (I use the online scrabble site) I was pleased to find life over 50and intend to explore It's possibilities once I’ve mastered pressing the right what's its!
The reason I am inputting text (jargon my granddaughter introduced) is to ask if you are aware of the u3a (university of the third age)
They have a web site; national and local so details are there for a click of a thingamy!
My local group has some 200 members and although we meet only once a month for coffee and sharing group news, we meet in smaller groups for the activities. Scrabble, Bridge, Table Tennis, walking, gardening for the restless amounts us.
Creative groups such as poetry and writing; handicraft and painting, book club photography--well you get the idea.
I hope this will get an airing on our site as I believe the concept to be so similar and complimentary in aim. In that respect those of us involved in the u3a are in a very good situation to promote the life over 50 site.
I’ve been retired only seven years but to date have had nothing but pleasure from the freedom retirement offers.
If I may, I will end with a poem that I wrote as part of poetry activities.
Footprints In The Snow
Some yearn for footprints in the sand;
divine presence, secured hand;
when life is cold and spirits low,
I long for footprints in the snow.
Then yearn for sun to warm the day
to melt those telling marks away;
and yet to keep the quilted white
to hide the chaos from my sight.
As stronger sun warms life again,
snow and ice turn to rain-
the camouflage slips from the heath;
I have to face what lies beneath.
Now without a place to hide,
divine presence, constant guide,
give me confidence to grow;
with safer footsteps-should it snow.
That's it. I hope this over 50's site goes from strength to strength!
Are you about to contribute an article?
By Joan Brownlow
The reason I am inputting text (jargon my granddaughter introduced) is to ask if you are aware of the u3a (university of the third age)
They have a web site; national and local so details are there for a click of a thingamy!
My local group has some 200 members and although we meet only once a month for coffee and sharing group news, we meet in smaller groups for the activities. Scrabble, Bridge, Table Tennis, walking, gardening for the restless amounts us.
Creative groups such as poetry and writing; handicraft and painting, book club photography--well you get the idea.
I hope this will get an airing on our site as I believe the concept to be so similar and complimentary in aim. In that respect those of us involved in the u3a are in a very good situation to promote the life over 50 site.
I’ve been retired only seven years but to date have had nothing but pleasure from the freedom retirement offers.
If I may, I will end with a poem that I wrote as part of poetry activities.
Footprints In The Snow
Some yearn for footprints in the sand;
divine presence, secured hand;
when life is cold and spirits low,
I long for footprints in the snow.
Then yearn for sun to warm the day
to melt those telling marks away;
and yet to keep the quilted white
to hide the chaos from my sight.
As stronger sun warms life again,
snow and ice turn to rain-
the camouflage slips from the heath;
I have to face what lies beneath.
Now without a place to hide,
divine presence, constant guide,
give me confidence to grow;
with safer footsteps-should it snow.
That's it. I hope this over 50's site goes from strength to strength!
Are you about to contribute an article?
By Joan Brownlow
A Seniors Guide To Internet Dating By Sheila Bisset
Life after 50 takes many new twists and turns and as a relatively new single coming out of a long term marriage I thought I would turn my hand to internet dating.
You would imagine as a mature professional woman that this exercise would be relatively easy. I have to say these last two months have been a great learning curve.
I was taken unawares initially by a response I received from a site that I had visited but not joined as a member. I was very flattered that someone might find me interesting so I began to communicate through email, then phone calls and then the big day when we were to meet.
The date was set up for 2.30pm outside the local supermarket; well safety takes precedence over a romantic setting. We talked over a cup of tea and in honesty found that really we were not interested in each other so after 45 minutes said our goodbyes.
When I returned home I was not really surprised at this since I double checked his profile and found he wanted a black woman and I am blonde haired and fair skinned, not a combination for success.
I was not too despondent, onwards and upwards etc. based on my first experience I decided I would join a larger site to see what was on offer. After all I had survived my first encounter.
I decided I was going to do some of the searching and be more in control. I contacted a gentleman who lived locally but not too local, downside was that my date had no photograph and therefore it was a bit of a shot in the dark match wise. undeterred I pressed on and again we email, no phone calls and then arranged to meet at a local pub. The experience wasn’t too bad, we managed to talk for about two hours but it can be hard work talking to someone and seeming interested when really neither of us were genuinely interested in each other.
Since then I have had three more dates, one at a coffee shop again with a nice man who we both know that romantically we will go no further. However, will probably remain good friends ad infinitum and I’m happy with that. The last one was the best but still a learning experience. This was a lovely 60 year old who was very new to this game and more than I lacked confidence. We met and had a lovely day together shopping lunching and talking. we got on so well we met again two weeks later and had another very enjoyable day out, had lunch and both came to the conclusion that because of our differing needs and the distance we would not go any further.
So what have I learned in the last two months from my experiences, well here goes; you wear your heart on your sleeve and therefore have to be thick skinned to cope with rejection. You have to be very aware of what you want and especially if you just want a slow start with friendship leading to something more serious. Some people want only a serious relationship and therefore being like minded will help to make a successful match. I also have the gut feeling that sometimes money and assets can influence a successful relationship. I get a sense that there are some gold diggers out there. You have to be careful that you are not perceived as a gold digger and
that you are not dating a person who may see you as a meal ticket. I get a sense from what I have read on the male profiles that they are also vulnerable to young women who are young enough to be their daughters and are looking for `sugar daddies`.
it seems to me that would be good to write some internet dating rules, for example:
*if you want to take your relationship further what are the ground rules, do you text or talk everyday, every other day or once per week
* how do you strike the balance of being keen but not desperate
* how do you draw your relationship to a close if one of you is very keen and the other not without hurting feelings
* is it acceptable to give feedback to your date on their profile? I like feedback and have changed my profile based on this but some might find it a put down
*many of us feel that others are doing better than us at this game but in reality it seems that we all have many people who visit our site but don’t get in touch
these are all aspects of internet dating that we need to consider when embarking on what is for many of us a very unfamiliar exercise.
Finally there is the issue of intimacy, am area that I have not ventured into at the moment, that will wait until the right relationship comes along. We all need to be aware of sexually transmitted diseases (stis) and be prepared to take the precautions required to keep us health even though the threat of pregnancy has passed.
How do I conclude my internet dating experience, well I am still keen and enthusiastic, I have met some really nice people, made some new friends along the way and hope to make more in the future.
I would be really interested in hearing about other real life internet dating experiences so please get writing and lets all learn the rules together.
Find Love & Romance In Your Area Now
By Sheila Bisset
You would imagine as a mature professional woman that this exercise would be relatively easy. I have to say these last two months have been a great learning curve.
I was taken unawares initially by a response I received from a site that I had visited but not joined as a member. I was very flattered that someone might find me interesting so I began to communicate through email, then phone calls and then the big day when we were to meet.
The date was set up for 2.30pm outside the local supermarket; well safety takes precedence over a romantic setting. We talked over a cup of tea and in honesty found that really we were not interested in each other so after 45 minutes said our goodbyes.
When I returned home I was not really surprised at this since I double checked his profile and found he wanted a black woman and I am blonde haired and fair skinned, not a combination for success.
I was not too despondent, onwards and upwards etc. based on my first experience I decided I would join a larger site to see what was on offer. After all I had survived my first encounter.
I decided I was going to do some of the searching and be more in control. I contacted a gentleman who lived locally but not too local, downside was that my date had no photograph and therefore it was a bit of a shot in the dark match wise. undeterred I pressed on and again we email, no phone calls and then arranged to meet at a local pub. The experience wasn’t too bad, we managed to talk for about two hours but it can be hard work talking to someone and seeming interested when really neither of us were genuinely interested in each other.
Since then I have had three more dates, one at a coffee shop again with a nice man who we both know that romantically we will go no further. However, will probably remain good friends ad infinitum and I’m happy with that. The last one was the best but still a learning experience. This was a lovely 60 year old who was very new to this game and more than I lacked confidence. We met and had a lovely day together shopping lunching and talking. we got on so well we met again two weeks later and had another very enjoyable day out, had lunch and both came to the conclusion that because of our differing needs and the distance we would not go any further.
So what have I learned in the last two months from my experiences, well here goes; you wear your heart on your sleeve and therefore have to be thick skinned to cope with rejection. You have to be very aware of what you want and especially if you just want a slow start with friendship leading to something more serious. Some people want only a serious relationship and therefore being like minded will help to make a successful match. I also have the gut feeling that sometimes money and assets can influence a successful relationship. I get a sense that there are some gold diggers out there. You have to be careful that you are not perceived as a gold digger and
that you are not dating a person who may see you as a meal ticket. I get a sense from what I have read on the male profiles that they are also vulnerable to young women who are young enough to be their daughters and are looking for `sugar daddies`.
it seems to me that would be good to write some internet dating rules, for example:
*if you want to take your relationship further what are the ground rules, do you text or talk everyday, every other day or once per week
* how do you strike the balance of being keen but not desperate
* how do you draw your relationship to a close if one of you is very keen and the other not without hurting feelings
* is it acceptable to give feedback to your date on their profile? I like feedback and have changed my profile based on this but some might find it a put down
*many of us feel that others are doing better than us at this game but in reality it seems that we all have many people who visit our site but don’t get in touch
these are all aspects of internet dating that we need to consider when embarking on what is for many of us a very unfamiliar exercise.
Finally there is the issue of intimacy, am area that I have not ventured into at the moment, that will wait until the right relationship comes along. We all need to be aware of sexually transmitted diseases (stis) and be prepared to take the precautions required to keep us health even though the threat of pregnancy has passed.
How do I conclude my internet dating experience, well I am still keen and enthusiastic, I have met some really nice people, made some new friends along the way and hope to make more in the future.
I would be really interested in hearing about other real life internet dating experiences so please get writing and lets all learn the rules together.
Find Love & Romance In Your Area Now
By Sheila Bisset
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)