A Seniors Guide To Internet Dating By Sheila Bisset

Life after 50 takes many new twists and turns and as a relatively new single coming out of a long term marriage I thought I would turn my hand to internet dating.

You would imagine as a mature professional woman that this exercise would be relatively easy. I have to say these last two months have been a great learning curve.

I was taken unawares initially by a response I received from a site that I had visited but not joined as a member. I was very flattered that someone might find me interesting so I began to communicate through email, then phone calls and then the big day when we were to meet.

The date was set up for 2.30pm outside the local supermarket; well safety takes precedence over a romantic setting. We talked over a cup of tea and in honesty found that really we were not interested in each other so after 45 minutes said our goodbyes.

When I returned home I was not really surprised at this since I double checked his profile and found he wanted a black woman and I am blonde haired and fair skinned, not a combination for success.

I was not too despondent, onwards and upwards etc. based on my first experience I decided I would join a larger site to see what was on offer. After all I had survived my first encounter.

I decided I was going to do some of the searching and be more in control. I contacted a gentleman who lived locally but not too local, downside was that my date had no photograph and therefore it was a bit of a shot in the dark match wise. undeterred I pressed on and again we email, no phone calls and then arranged to meet at a local pub. The experience wasn’t too bad, we managed to talk for about two hours but it can be hard work talking to someone and seeming interested when really neither of us were genuinely interested in each other.

Since then I have had three more dates, one at a coffee shop again with a nice man who we both know that romantically we will go no further. However, will probably remain good friends ad infinitum and I’m happy with that. The last one was the best but still a learning experience. This was a lovely 60 year old who was very new to this game and more than I lacked confidence. We met and had a lovely day together shopping lunching and talking. we got on so well we met again two weeks later and had another very enjoyable day out, had lunch and both came to the conclusion that because of our differing needs and the distance we would not go any further.

So what have I learned in the last two months from my experiences, well here goes; you wear your heart on your sleeve and therefore have to be thick skinned to cope with rejection. You have to be very aware of what you want and especially if you just want a slow start with friendship leading to something more serious. Some people want only a serious relationship and therefore being like minded will help to make a successful match. I also have the gut feeling that sometimes money and assets can influence a successful relationship. I get a sense that there are some gold diggers out there. You have to be careful that you are not perceived as a gold digger and
that you are not dating a person who may see you as a meal ticket. I get a sense from what I have read on the male profiles that they are also vulnerable to young women who are young enough to be their daughters and are looking for `sugar daddies`.

it seems to me that would be good to write some internet dating rules, for example:

*if you want to take your relationship further what are the ground rules, do you text or talk everyday, every other day or once per week

* how do you strike the balance of being keen but not desperate

* how do you draw your relationship to a close if one of you is very keen and the other not without hurting feelings

* is it acceptable to give feedback to your date on their profile? I like feedback and have changed my profile based on this but some might find it a put down

*many of us feel that others are doing better than us at this game but in reality it seems that we all have many people who visit our site but don’t get in touch

these are all aspects of internet dating that we need to consider when embarking on what is for many of us a very unfamiliar exercise.

Finally there is the issue of intimacy, am area that I have not ventured into at the moment, that will wait until the right relationship comes along. We all need to be aware of sexually transmitted diseases (stis) and be prepared to take the precautions required to keep us health even though the threat of pregnancy has passed.

How do I conclude my internet dating experience, well I am still keen and enthusiastic, I have met some really nice people, made some new friends along the way and hope to make more in the future.

I would be really interested in hearing about other real life internet dating experiences so please get writing and lets all learn the rules together.

Find Love & Romance In Your Area Now

By Sheila Bisset